There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
