i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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