I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
