I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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