1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
