wrigley field is MILF paradise
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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