I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
