I think I just saw someone hide a body.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
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