dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
