i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
