I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
ttyl tear gas
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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