Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
