I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
