The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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