I wish I could teleport
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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