so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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