Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Randomize
