so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
