he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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