she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
