Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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