So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
