Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
