Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
