I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
