Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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