He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
