Those balls look pretty dangerous.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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