Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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