I smell stomach acid.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
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