were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
