i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
