I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
