Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize