I'm drive I can fine osifer
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
