i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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