isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
