there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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