is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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