Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
