I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I think a kid would responsible me up
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize