I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
