there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You brought string cheese to the strip club
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
