The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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