theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
she smelled like a LAN party
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
