there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
