GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
