omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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