Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Found your dick twin last night
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
