I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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