How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
