1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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