found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
