i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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