You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
