ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
My underwear smells like fireworks.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
