Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Randomize
