Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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